Gimme a Break

I'm tired. Well, my brain is tired. I've decided that since I've been working very hard on the acting lately I should take a few days off from looking for auditions and give my brain a rest. I need a few days where I am not obsessively checking casting sites every hour or checking my email on my phone every five minutes. To take a few days off from these habits is easier said than done. I am always afraid that I will miss out on that ONE role. The one that could give me my big break, or at least look good on my reel, or at least give me another IMDB credit. But I am forcing myself to not look because my brain is fried and lately when I've been submitting I barely have the mental energy to focus on writing the cover letter. I need a few days to let go a bit, because as I wrote in an earlier post, I really get upset if a day goes by in which I don't get an audition. And lately I've had feelings of jealousy (deeper than the usual brief passing moments) towards other actors/actresses who are about where I am in my career right now and that's not good. There is no point in being jealous of anyone for any reason. These things needs to change. But it's very hard to let go. I feel like I don't know how to anymore, but sometimes letting go is also necessary in order to get to the next level. And let me tell you, it is taking everything I have to not look for castings right now, but for some reason I know deep down that it's okay to take a few days and that I need to do this in order to re-energize myself and put things in perspective. I need to understand that even if I don't submit my headshot for a few days, when I start again there WILL be notices and roles to submit for. They won't go away. And it's not like I am taking a break from acting. I have an audition Saturday for a short film with a beautiful screenplay. So for the next couple evenings I will be preparing for that. I may also be filming a sketch comedy web series that same day. On Monday, I start a five week commercial acting class. And today I am blogging. (I like blogging. It relieves stress and helps me to stay focused on my goals at the same time.) So that's it today. Short and to the point. No frantically searching for auditions until at least Saturday. Possibly even Sunday. And if anyone sees me as less of a dedicated actress, well, that's okay. We all have our own way to handle things. But you know what? It's all gonna be okay:)