Saturday, September 1, 2012

The Acting Blues Lifted....A follow up to last week's post

I realized yesterday while at work that I am truly grateful for those moments when I feel down.  I am truly grateful for the days when I go into work and feel depressed to be there.  Because in those moments a great determination arises within me.  I HAVE to be an actress.  I HAVE to make my living by acting.  To have anything less will just not satisfy.  I have a good "day" job (in quotes because I work retail and work till 9:45 two nights a week).  I work at a makeup counter and get to do makeovers and sell and make commission and I'm good at it.  But it doesn't compare to acting. Acting is my true passion.  And I believe that if you have a dream and God is leading you in that direction then you follow.  I also believe that you do what makes you happy and gives you peace no matter how impossible it seems.  Inner peace far exceeds those moments of frustration and feelings of wanting to give up.  Inner peace even exceeds moments of happiness.  So I really believe that one day I will make my living through acting only.  Not saying I'll be famous folks, just saying I won't have to work retail anymore.

Last week, I wrote that I hadn't been getting called to any auditions lately and that I wanted to get back into acting classes.  Well here is what went down this past week:

Monday night- I took that free class I mentioned taught by acting coach John Pallotta and it was awesome!! Can you believe I almost didn't end up going?!!  Luckily, my wonderful husband encouraged me to go and I'm glad I listened.  I can't even believe this class was free.  In two and a half hours, Mr. Pallotta covered monologues, film auditions, and commercials.  I learned so much.  His coaching style is honest and real.  At the same time, there is an ease about the way he pushes you to make something better.  I am definitely considering paying for the full course in the future, but while taking this class I realized that right now I want to take commercial classes specifically.

I already signed up for a commercial intensive on Tuesday the 4th with Jagger Kaye (CnC Studios). He is another great teacher and is also a successful actor.  Like  John Pallotta,  Jagger has that very honest, tough love teaching style.  I took this class last summer and thought I should take it again.  I can't wait.

Tuesday- I was supposed to film a promo, which was to be paid, and it never happened.  I don't know why.  I didn't hear anything else about it.  I was so bummed, but it happens.  It could have been for any reason.  Maybe they found another actress that they liked more:(

Wednesday- director Jim Terriaca called to give me my next shoot date for indie feature "Apex Rising. Yay!!! Cant wait!! Check it out-Apex Rising Examiner Article

Thursday- I did some background work for a film.  I really hate doing  background.  (I'm not saying there is anything wrong with it, or even that I'm too good for it, it just depresses me.) But for this job I got paid 75$ in cash at the end of a six hour shoot.  I was very grateful for that.  It was my day off anyway.

Which brings me to Friday and back to how depressed I was feeling as I clocked in at work yesterday.  Normally, I push through and get right to work.  Normally I choose to be happy while  I'm there and do my best.  After all, I'm grateful for this job.  But some days, like yesterday, it is such a challenge.  Some days it seems like I won't be able to get through the day.  And I feel like crying because I have to pretend with the managers that I actually care about things that I don't actually care about.  Of course  part of me does care because I hate to let anyone down and right now I need this job.  And  I like to do well and make my goals.

But if I always felt completely happy and satisfied with my day job, would I constantly be trying to take my acting career to the next level?  That's why I said earlier that I am actually grateful for these moments of "desperation."  I become fiercely determined.  Yesterday, within the first hour of being at work, I decided for sure that I would take a five week commercial class, by casting director Angela Mickey, that I had been debating over the last couple days.  I decided that even if I have to use what little money I have in my savings or pay for this class with my credit card, I will.  It starts Sept 10, which is short notice, so I'm waiting to hear back about any open spots.  If there are none, I will look for another commercial acting class as reputable as this one.

Maybe if I had gone into work yesterday feeling happy to be there I would still be debating whether or not to invest in this class.

In fact, I have made a commitment to attend at least one class, industry event, or showcase each week.

I didn't get called in for any auditions this week either.  But instead of panicking, I'm using this time to elevate myself as an actor.  This commitment will  inevitably lead to more opportunities. Hopefully.  It has to.

So let's see what happens;)

John Pallotta Acting Coach
Jagger Kaye CnC Studios Classes
Angela Mickey's Booking the Commercial Class via NYCastings

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