Wednesday, February 27, 2013

On Being Apart from My Family to Pursue Acting

One of the hardest things about pursuing your dream is that it often takes you far away from your family. I think this is the hardest sacrifice to make as an actor. Way harder than the financial burden on struggling artists. Now, I am very blessed that I have an amazing husband who supports me and loves me and he is my favorite person in the entire world to be with, but I miss my mom and dad and sister and brother and niece everyday. I get to see them on average twice a year. I always wish that they live a little closer to me (because obviously, I am not going back to VA). They are about an eight hour drive or train ride away from here. Which doesn't sound like much, but it is when you work AND have to be in town most of the time so that you don't miss an audition opportunity. A flight is only a couple hours, but usually costs around 400-600.00$ which I don't understand because it is much much cheaper for my husband to fly all the way to Florida to see his family. I cannot afford to pay that. I just can't. For those of you who move to a completely other country apart from your families, I admire you so much.

Of course, talking on the phone just doesn't cut it. I consider myself very close to my family, but I am just not a phone person. I don't know why. I always have trouble listening to the other person. Especially when I feel worn out from working all day. So, although I think I should call my mom every single day, it just doesn't happen. Because of that, I live for the week or two weeks a year I get to visit my family.

The problem is that as I am getting older, it gets harder and harder to say goodbye when my visit is over. The first time I moved out at the age of 20, I thought that saying goodbye would get easier with each trip. I couldn't have been more wrong. Each week I spend with them flies by so fast. My parents are getting older. My niece is pretty much growing up without me. I hate that. It breaks my heart. Sometimes, I even feel that I don't want to visit them because I know that the goodbye will be harder than it was the last time. I even regret starting this post because now I am starting to cry a little (I will be visiting them soon).

But as hard as it is to be away from family, I am right where I am meant to be and I am deeply fulfilled; deeply joyful (forgive me if that sounds too corny). As much as we love our families, sometimes our lives are meant to be lived apart from them. For those who are meant to live near your families, consider yourselves very blessed and lucky. Yes, I made the choice to leave Virginia and my family. Yes it is very hard, but I know if I stayed there in the long run I would be depressed, bored, and restless. I am so grateful that my entire family is supportive of my career and understands that I am where I am for a reason.

The only thing I can do is pray for a day when I can afford to visit them more often, and be thankful for and take in every moment I do get to spend with them. I love them so much.

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